How Blogging Helped Me Write a Tribute to Mom
Blogging helped me write a tribute / eulogy for my mom’s funeral. I never thought I could write or speak a tribute at a funeral. That was until I began blogging. I was driving home the day after my mom passed last week and the words started to just come to me. Two days later I put those words into writing for her funeral just like a blog post. I don’t think I could have done it otherwise. Some people like my aunt are natural born writers. I had to work at it here on the blog.
Blogging Can Be Therapeutic
It was just like me blogging and doing laundry during the crisis of my life several months ago. The day after mom passed my sister and I were taking down clothes from the clothes line that my dad had hung out. We even laughed a little as we did it, wondering if it was folded good enough for dad. It reminded me how mom did the laundry the morning of her own mom’s funeral. I so understood why she did now.
Blogging Helped Me Write – Paragraph by Paragraph
I started writing the tribute from the end and it flowed through. I will share the first paragraph with you here:
“Those that knew my mom well knew how much she wanted everything organized. My last conversation with her was about one too many hangers on the pegs in her bedroom. Cousin Janice was with me in the room as mom tried to explain that she wanted me to remove the extra hanger. Once we understood what she was trying to tell me and I removed it, she got peaceful and started to fall asleep. She was then at peace to leave this earth. She passed about an hour after that.”
I didn’t realize until now it was still about laundry. That conversation reminded me of that last blog post on doing laundry during the crisis of our lives. It’s about keeping routines and doing everyday tasks. Those routines keep you focused and help you to get it together during the toughest times. Just like now I’m getting ready to return to work today and being a new routine of life without my mom. Blogging is helping me to get to that side of my life.
The Ending of the Tribute
“…She was also able in the last weeks to go to lunch for her and my dad’s 66th wedding anniversary. Theirs was the greatest love story. They were always together. They rarely ever fought and never held grudges. Dad’s love for mom really showed through how he took such good care of her during her illness. I know she would have done the same for him.
They were truly each other’s best friends and did everything together. It was extremely rare for them to do anything separate. Even in the last months mom waited anxiously for his returns from the store. There is no movie that could beat their love story. I always told her she was so lucky – that many never had or will have that kind of love. Dad, you really did really, really good….”
Blogging helped me write the tribute/eulogy – writing really is a creative form like art – drawing, painting, etc. It’s expressive and can help you through the tough times in your life. If blogging helped me write a tribute what else can blogging help you with?
It always amazes me when I can something new because of blogging. It has helped me at work to write better emails and sales pieces. It has calmed me down many times during lifes “dramas” and I’ve made wonderful friends through blogging. Another reason to start that blog now if you haven’t yet.
Has blogging helped you through the rough times in your life?
Have you written or spoken at funerals?
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First off, my apologies for the latency, though you sent me the link a month ago. Starting off catching up with this lovely post 🙂
Once again, I’m so sorry for your loss but it must be comforting that you all could be there for her and grant her last wish. She must be proud of her family. I didn’t know much about your mom, but reading her orbiit drawn a entire different picture in my mind, Lisa. What caught my attention was she’s giving up her job to take care of you two 🙂
If everyone could live forever, we would have never learnt some lessons in this life. Isn’t it? Losing a loved one is yet a something I have left to experience, which I secretly don’t intend to.
Written / Spoken at funerals? Never! Like Adrienne mentioned, that’s so brave of you to do a speech dear. Who would have thought blogging could be this helpful, even to write a tribute? It leaves some clues on the table saying, you are more than what you thought you are 🙂
Actually, I have disengaged from blogging (actually, writing new posts) when I was going through touch times ’cause it’s strange, words doesn’t flow as I expect at that times dear. I could write a few lines, but struggle to complete an entire post. But helping someone through blogging or as a blogger made me feel so much better in my own tough times.
Thinking about the journey of blogging, it never ceased to bring something wonderful. Friends is the best thing happened to me from blogging and they are with me even I’m not blogging. True friends! We are with you too, Lisa 🙂
Hope you are having a wonderful time!
No need to apologize my friend – it’s never to late to visit a post here. I’ve been behind myself lately too. Thanks for your condolences Mayura. Yes, she did quit work to raise her children – that’s how it was in her day too. I used to wish we could live forever but now I know it’s not possible and if one were not healthy it would not be a way to live either. You are lucky you haven’t Mayura – I was 17 when I lost my grandmother who I was very close to. That experience did make me stronger for my own mom’s death. I never thought I would have Mayura but once day driving to my dad’s house right after mom died the words came in my head like writing a blog post and I thought to myself “I can try this…”
Oh yes, the friendships made via blogging are a great benefit that I never expected when I started Mayura, glad we have become friends. I hope all is well on your side of the world this time of year. Thanks for coming by and taking the time to comment.
That was really sad to hear about your Mom, you are very strong. Memories stays forever.
Blogging is really a tool to use for healing. The very reason I started blogging was to ease my pain, when my first gf broke up with me. I was lost, devastated, but now I have a good feeling about happenings in life. All this has been possible because of blogging.
I haven’t spoken at funeral, because of my shyness sometimes, but I will try for sure. Be blessed.
Hi Rohan, yes, is really can be used for healing. It’s getting our feelings out too. That first cut is really the deepest as they say, I still remember mine today. I hope things do improve for you Rohan. I was shy too but someone was able to do it. Blogging certainly helped. Thanks for coming by and commenting Rohan on this one.
Lisa really awesom article you’ve put down here. Seriously blogging helped me become a better poet. Through it have been able to send my mum some creative poem which when she reads brings smile to her face.
Lisa am so happy that your mum and dad lived such a wonderful life. It not easy to see this days but when I do come across one I feel this sense of nostalgia.
Am happy your mum lived a long fulfilled life.
Wish you continuous blogging success
OMG! Sorry to for the big loss Lisa! I had no idea this happened to you. I understand it’s been such a painful moment to see a loved one go.
We all die at some point like @Daniel said above but it hurts when this happens.
“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”
Your mom is sleeping Lisa. You’ll see her when the Lord shall appear in glory
Thank you Enstine. Yes, she had cancer for about 6 months. I’m comforted to know she went on her own terms.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If you want to cry you better cry, it makes good for you. We all die at some point. I have no words…
Thank you IC Daniel – good point, it does help to heal. I have a video I took of her on her birthday 2 weeks prior to her passing and that really does make me cry. Thanks for your input and have a good new week ahead.
No, Lisa. I have never spoken at a funeral.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss…the loss of a parent can be one of the worst thing ever that anyone can pass through…be consoled in the fact that your mother lived to old age and enjoyed a very fulfilled life – something quite rare today.
Once again, accept my condolence.
Hi Akaahan, thank you. Yes, that is rare and does help. That is a good thing to remember and she spoke of it herself too. I hope you have a good new week Akaahan.
Sorry to hear about for your loss and may your mom rest in peace. I really don’t know what to say but you know what, I am glad that blogging helped you create such a sweet tribute for her. She would be proud of you.
Blogging can help us in many many ways. It helped me do better public speaking, give better presentations at work and present my thoughts on any occasion in a better way.
Thanks for sharing how blogging has helped you in many ways.
Thank you Kumar. It is interesting that blogging can help us do better at public speaking and making better presentations, isn’t it? I’m not quite sure why but it certainly is the case Kumar. You are welcome and have a great weekend there.
I’m so sorry for your lost. Although I’ve lost a lot of family members, I can only imagine how it feels to lose a parent. But I do have to say that it takes a lot of courage to write a tribute to your mom in your blog.
That’s the great thing about blogging. It’s so versatile. Especially during a time like this. Like everyone have said it, it can also be therapeutic for anyone to get their feelings out instead of keeping them bottled in. But this is a great way to talk about your mom, the way she was, and your parents marriage all together so that her memory can keep on living! Thanks for sharing and my condolences go out to you and your family!
Thank you Sherman. Writing both helped me to get through. I never imagined when I first started blogging how many things it would help me to do over the years. You are welcome and thank you for your condolences Sherman. I hope you have a nice weekend and new month ahead.
I’m really sorry for your loss. I can’t even start to imagine how it must feel like. On the other hand, I can relate to how blogging has helped me do things I never thought would be possible. Blogging is therapeutic, and it makes it so much easier to deal with emotions and to understand what we’re really going through. I continue to write every single day, even though I don’t publish most of it – it’s for that reason, the understanding and putting everything into words – that I’m doing it.
Thank you Jens. Yes, blogging really can do that in so many ways. It’s an expressive form, others draw, paint, sing or play an instrument. It helps us get through the tough times. I hope you have a nice weekend ahead there Jens.
You are very very brave young lady. I couldn’t do it, get up in front of everyone and say something.
When my Dad passed away 11 years ago of course I wasn’t blogging at that time but none of the family could get up. My brother wavered back and forth and finally at the last minute he got up to say something. Bless his heart, he had to stare at the ceiling the entire time and told the congregation that if he looked at any of us he would lose it. My Dad was such a jokester so my brother had a LOT of stories to tell on him but there wasn’t enough time to share them all I’m afraid. I think with me being so close to my Mom as I am I don’t think I have it in me. Ever since my Dad passed away I now cry at the drop of a hat where before that it took a lot to get me to shed a tear. I guess that’s what death will do to you!
Your parents sound like they had such a wonderful love story. Gosh, I sure hope your Dad is going to be okay because I know it’s really going to be hard on him but he does have his girls. I’m sure that will help a lot.
I applaud you for not only writing the eulogy but getting up and speaking. I so wish I could have been there for support but know you were in my thoughts the entire time Lisa. My heart goes out to you and I’m so glad that blogging helped you conquer this.
You take care of yourself okay! I’m here if you need me.
Hi Adrienne, I didn’t know I had it in me. I did break out in hives in a small area an hour before. I did because I remember my mom doing it several times and I thought some people there should know how it went at the end, etc. I tried not to look at everyone too but did glance at several people. It was comforting to look at a couple of my girlfriends that gave me strength to continue on. It was about a 4-5 minute speech. Luckily dad has many friends and close nieces and nephews. I do know that Adrienne, thank you so much. I hope you have a nice weekend.
I’m am so so sorry for your loss. We have come close to losing our mom several times and that’s a feeling you can’t explain.
I know you only shared a little bit of the eulogy but from what I’ve read it sounds like you honored your mom and captured everything she meant to you and your family.
Celebrating 66 years of marriage is such a milestone and to look as happy as they do in the picture you share, I hope I can stay in love like that after all those years.
I think writing is very therapeutic. I used to keep a journal and I remember how good it felt to put feelings down on paper just to get them out of my system. I think I need to do that again :).
I agree with Donna in that sharing your feelings with this post will only draw in readers and more loyal followers because we can all relate to you an like she said this might encourage other bloggers to share personal experiences like this in hopes it will help others.
Sending prayers and hugs your way.
Hi Corina, thank you. Yes, I do remember you going through that. Yes 66 years is so rare today and many will not even see half of that many years together. Writing about it really did help some too. I slept much better after writing the tribute. Thanks for prayers and hugs. I hope you have a nice weekend Corina and BTW how is your hubs doing since the accident?
Beautiful, Lisa, and so insightful.
It’s a fascinating thing, how seemingly unrelated tasks can help us do things. I’ve been attributing my theater training to my ability to calmly facilitate a hypnosis session using improvisation when the hypnosis script didn’t quite suit the matter at hand. And I’ve been attributing my blogging to the fact that my classmates often comment that my open assignment submissions read so easily.
Who knew? It’s a delightful surprise.
I love that your mom made sure things were just so before she passed – right down to the finest detail: that extra hanger. The term “a woman of substance” comes to mind for her, and it fits you, as well. Like mother, like daughter.
Peace. ~Ellen xoxo
Thank you Ellen. It sure is a delightful surprise that unrelated tasks can help us through things too. Yes, gave me comfort she went on her own terms. Thank you. Have a nice weekend ahead Ellen.
So sorry for your loss. I like the way you’ve used your blog to work through your pain. Had to smile when you talked of the one too many hangers. One thing that’s always stuck with me throughout my life, and after my parents death is the love between them. Such a beautiful thing to remember.
Thank you Kathleen and welcome to Inspire to Thrive. It makes me smile too that she passed just the way she wanted to. Yes, that is something for sure to remember today. It’s so rare. Do have a good weekend ahead Kathleen.
There come a time when people need to have go, we can’t do anything. Though you have great experience of than me still I have learnt that God want some good people to rest in heaven. You Mom is the one who has acquired a special place.
Sorry for your loss.
I understand how we remember the conversations we had with our loved ones. I have lost my grandfather when I was 5. I still remember the days I spent with him. You know life has a long way and journey to be continued.
You have explained the benefits of blogging even in this crucial time. It’s really appreciable.
I will always try to learn more about blogging skills.
Hope you are fine now. Have a nice weekend ahead.
Hi Ravi, yes, that is so true. Thank you. Interesting – somehow losing my grandmother at 17 helped me cope better now with my own mom’s passing. It was therapeutic to write about it Ravi. Thanks and you too – enjoy the weekend almost here.
So sorry for your loss. I found out about it first on Facebook. Now you have wrote a beautiful blog post about it. Now that’s very therapeutic! All your readers will gather up and be there virtually for you. This is what I just love about blogging.
We learn to put ourselves into our blog post. A personal touch to it will let our readers know who we are. Here you have shared something so powerful Lisa. In the midst of mourning your mom, you have written such a beautiful post. I just loved the part where you shared how your mom and dad had a wonderful relationship.
This is a fine example of sharing who we are, how we feel and how we deal with things. Writing this post, you are a forerunner for many bloggers who may be too shy or afraid to share part of themselves. You did it all here and this will only bring your readers closer to you.
I also share parts of my life, when blogging because I want to help others to do so themselves.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time.
Hi Donna – thank you. It did help me to write it as well as writing the tribute. It helps to get it out in an expressive sort of way. I hope it somehow helps others in different ways too. It’s not easy to share personal info but as you noticed I choose 2 paragraphs and not the entire piece. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers too Donna. I can’t believe it will be 2 weeks tomorrow already since she’s gone.
A beautiful tribute. Your parents were so lucky to have a wonderful and long-lasting love like they did. It’s a precious thing.
I love blogging, in whatever way its used, whether for personal or business reasons. It’s communication. A conversation. A way of touching other people emotionally in ways we might not even imagine. Plus we connect with people worldwide which can overcome the borders and miles in between us all. It can only be good.
Your tribute to your mother was touching and I’m glad I was able to read it.
Sorry for your loss.
Thank you Edward and welcome to Inspire to Thrive. Oh yes, indeed – very lucky. I do too, it is so therapeutic to write posts. If I was writing in a journal I’d probably not continue with it but now that I have a community from blogging I feel I must carry on and continue to write. It’s a great routine too. Thank you for reading it and for your thoughts. Hope to see you back here again Edward.
[…] Learn how blogging helped me write a tribute to my mom and what you can learn from blogging to get you through tough times of your life […]
My dear friend, I’m so sorry for your loss however doing a tribute for your Mother is just most beautiful.
Blogging has helped me through some of my crises as well as know, my writing of short stories. Some how it always makes me feel better to get it off my chest and out into the open. Sharing my pain with the world, in a blog post or short story, seems to not only help me, but others who have shared in similar pain.
I’m so glad you managed to get the strength to speak at her funeral. Have beautiful it must have been. I’ve never spoken at a funeral. When my Mother passed, I was still in denial. I didn’t even think it was her in the casket. My Father was a different story but I still did not speak. There would be no words to express my feelings for either one of them. Eventually those words will come out in a story. A story about my life and hope that I can eventually move one.
Fabulous post Lisa! Hugs!
Thank you Bren. I think that’s it – you get it out via writing while others talk about it or take to addictions. I read it aloud several times by myself – that helped me otherwise I would have cried a lot more reading it aloud for the first time there. I nevere knew reading aloud would have that effect. Different thaer n reading to yourself. Writing later is a great way to heal too Bren. I could not imagine you doing that at such a young age Bren – it really has made you a strong lady!
Such losses are never easy, and I am so sorry about your loss – my heart goes out to you and your family at this time.
That was such a lovely tribute, though just a para but I can make out – touching indeed and it reminded me of my Mom’s time and those never ending tears. I could have never spoken all those words if I had to, Lisa, one feels such a loss of words at this time. But time heals….it does, though memories are all we are really left with.
Like your Dad and Mom were the made for each other couple, so were mine, and seeing him alone broke my heart. But I knew my Mom would have wanted us to be strong for him, and we were all giving each other strength, that’s what helps us to carry on. He is our pillar of strength now after her….be with him, he would miss your mom the most, Lisa, especially these initial days.
Yes, writing and blogging is therapeutic, and a way to express your feelings and emotions, just as you did with your little write up so well here. Hope it keeps giving you strength ahead, though I didn’t expect you to start blogging so soon, but in a way it’s good because it helps you share your feelings and feel a shade better.
Thanks for sharing more of you with us…..you are certainly not alone. Sending prayers and wishes your way – take care. 🙂
Hi Lisa, I’m so sorry for your loss, and hope you are doing OK.
Blogging is indeed therapeutic no doubt. I have found that out myself as well. I know exactly what happened here. Your subconscious mind delivered the eulogy for your mom, that’s why it all came to you just like that. That’s wonderful
Please, receive my sympathy, and all the best to you in this difficult time.
Thank you Sylviane. So far I’m doing okay. She had been sick for about 6 months and had prepared me for what she wanted so that helped too. I’m sure they will be many trying times ahead as well. Interesting about the subconscious mind – hadn’t thought about that.
Oh Lisa, Honey I am so sorry for your loss. When my mom passed two months ago, the first thing I did was come home and clean the apartment. It’s what she did when her mom died and I realized why afterward. It helped me think about something other than the fact that my world was just kicked out of orbit.. Helped me organize what my next steps were, what I needed to get done, think about how I would break it to the kids. Hugs to you mama. Great big hug. Vanita
Hi Vanita, thank you. Keeping busy does help and trying to get into a routine once again as well. I know you know what its like since losing your mom just 2 months ago. Thanks for sharing here too.