Would You Know If A Twitter Friend Was In Danger?
Twitter Friend in Danger
I had met Stacie on Google+ where she shared her blog and asked for advice one day and I gave her some. We then became friends over on Twitter.
We tweeted daily on little things and promoted each others blogs and made comments on them. She told me about her dear friend who died from breast cancer as I had posted something about breast cancer one day and explained to her about a friend of mine that had just been through breast cancer. She warned me it may come back as it did with her dear friend. There was a sadness about her and when I questioned her on her blog about it she did not answer it directly, this is what she told me:
“Hi Lisa,Thank You for taking the time to read my first entry..As you can see it is still in the works so bear with me..
I wish I could explain it to you in a reply,that is why I started this blog to journal my journey while writing my first book..
Life is unpredictable,we are so busy that it is hard to stop and enjoy..Hopefully you will come back and read my blog and help me put the pieces together..
Take some time and enjoy life lisa..Take it from me..
Again thank you..”
There will never be another post to be read to put the pieces together. I received a Facebook message from another local Twitter friend asking me to call her. I did, she asked if I knew Stacie personally because she thought she was the woman murdered gruesomely over the weekend. (I had not read the story – the headline told me enough and I cannot stomach reading about such things especially when kids are involved.) I explained I never met her in person and that we met over on Google+ and tweeted daily.
We pieced it together the following morning as our local newspaper reported her name and quoted from her blog.
I felt so terrible. Could I have helped? I had not seen the signs except to think she may had been abused as a child as she tweeted about child abuse. I did not realize her and her kids were victims. She had written about kids being abused often. Days after her murder her tweets were still being tweeted from JustCoz and they look like this:
One little tweet to help children recover from trauma – Thanks for your support! http://JustCoz.org/operationSAFE #DT@operationSAFE
We all can get to know one another over on Twitter (unless you are a spammer or promoting a business with no relationships) and we found it so sad to lose one of our tweeps. We want to help. We saw an effort to collect clothing for the children – we called the number but there were so many calls yesterday that the inbox was full. We understand now the local fire department will be taking up the collection as the neighbor could not handle the volume of people trying to help the children left behind.
What Can We Do?
How would anyone know the signs of abuse via the internet? She never spoke directly about her situation. According to the hotline.org more than 3 women are murdered daily by their husbands and/or partner. More than 3 women per day! They offer more information on their website including ways to get help.
The hotline number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
If you know of ways we can help one other online to protect each other I’d love to know (Maybe reading through the lines?) as I don’t want to lose another Twitter friend this horrific way. If there are more ways to help I will update them here.
Maybe there are ways we can honor her via her blog. It was her outlet and pride and joy besides her children. May she rest in peace.
Update: Clothes may be donated to: Johnston Fire Dept. 1520 Atwood Avenue, Johnston, RI 02919. Boys (Jake) size 6 and girls (Lily) size 4. (When I brought the clothes this evening they said they could use gift cards to Walmart, Target, etc for food.)
Here is the Johnston Fire Dept. Website : http://www.local1950.com/index.cfm?section=1
There will also be a benefit at a local restaurant on March 3, 2012 at the Harbourside Lobstermania at 6 pm, Click here for more details.
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About Lisa
Helping Others to Thrive Online Through Social Media, Blogging and SEO. What good is knowledge if you cannot share it with others?
20+ years experience in marketing/advertising with 3 years experience blogging, social media and SEO.
63 Responses to Would You Know If A Twitter Friend Was In Danger?
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Popped in from SITS! That's so sad!
I felt sad while reading this post, this is not just an ordinary post Lisa, this is a very important matter, and you've shared us here one most important thing to take into consideration, the friendship even here at blogosphere is precious. Maybe we haven't seen each other in real, but through blogging, we become close,and unite as one. Thank you so much for sharing us awakening and very important post. May God bless us all.
Wow! How terrible sad. Unless the person opens up and discloses what is actually going on, how do you know? You can't really because one of the good things about social networks is, it's an escape from reality. We can be whomever we want to be and put up any kind of front. Bless her heart, that's terribly sad. Nothing you could have done Lisa, unless she came right out and told you.
~hugs~
I still cannot believe this horrible tragedy.
Yes, I don't cry easy and did by the end of this post.
This is so sad to read. I feel a regret. I know that personally, I tweet & blog the things that affect me in real life often, hence writing a lot about hunger, marital issues, weight loss surgery, etc. I often mask my real issues involving poverty & food crisis by tweeting links & writing articles about organizations that help. I think it's the bloggers way of reaching out without "putting it all out there."
This is an awesome way to keep her blog, and memory alive. Btw, I popped over from Twitter.
Lisa, what an amazing tribute to a beautiful soul. It saddens me that her life was cut short so ruthlessly…leaving her poor children behind to suffer. Because of your article, it will make us more apt to really pay close attention when we speak to our online friends through social media. Thank you for honoring Stacy by making sure everyone sees the beautiful person she was. May she rest in peace.
That is so sad Lisa. I don't think there was any way of knowing what she was going through especially through the internet. Rest in peace Stacie.
Powerful post. I am often struck by how close we can become in some ways in cyberspace, and yet not really know each other's life circumstances at all. I have several blog friends with whom I share a valued friendship, but I don't even know where they live, much less the basic details of their lives. Your post is very sobering, an important reflection of how we connect (and don't) online. Thank you.
Thanks, just hope it can prevent someone else from a horrible situation.
Thanks Bren.
I do not think anyone can believe or understand it.
Abuse is rampant in many families. It is the shame never discussed. Powerful post. I am sorry for your friend and the little ones she left behind.
A post to think about the dark side of lives that we might never think about yet. Yeah Lisa… we can help them out. We should listen to them. We can help someone who cries silently without exposing their embarrassing situations. I personally found a girl who feels neglected (I hope so) due to her blindness and she's writing about that. I read her thoughts via her blog right now. I'd like to help someone as I can. And I know all people commented here, wanna help them. I think we can encourage people in many ways.
May Stacie rest in peace.
Thanks – good point about reaching out without putting it all out there.
Thanks Anna and thank you for sharing over on FB today too.
Yes – I guess it is hard without being able to see expressions and hearing tones.
Hi Galen Pearl – yes it is odd. We do make connections and some we do get to meet.
Thanks Sonia – yes it is so sad but people discuss everything else out in the open – why not this? (Out of fear?)
Thanks Mayura, glad you read her blog.
This is proof that social media can have a positive impact on a lot of people no matter the distance. It's a powerful tool that can really be used for good. Thank you, Lisa, for being a blessing in Stacie's life.
What a tragic story. But I think you honor her by writing this post. I think it can be hard to know when to help sometimes, but I hope to be more aware because of this.
Thanks for stopping by Michael. I hope we can make a positive difference here.
Same here. Thanks!
Thanks for the character and honor you bring to Stacie's story, and her memory. The whole thing tells us how close we can become through social media, and yet how impersonal it truly is.
The beauty of this whole thing – is that by your actions, this memory will not fade away, or go un-cherished.
And for that, I thank you. I'm glad I know you.
My heart is heavy, Lisa. Thank you for sharing this very sad story. I'm not sure anyone would have picked up the signals. She probably had battered wives syndrome and felt it was her fault. It would be quite difficult for her to share this information with others. Thank you for honoring her, Lisa.
Thanks for reading Gibson and I hope it will somehow help others.
Hi Lisa,
I'm so sad that I'll never get to have another conversation with Staci, or read that book that she so dreamed of writing. I have a heavy and dragging heart. Even Dragonslayer, who didn't know her at all, felt the weight of what happened after he read this post. Thank you for bringing awareness to the scourge of domestic violence. My family continues to pray for the children left behind and those who are taking care of them in this bitter and sorrowful time.
Yes, same here. It was just so unbelievable. We have not seen an obit or anything either. So very sad.
Your welcome, hoping it will help someone else somehow.
Wow! So sorry to hear this story.
I don't think there is anything more you could have done. In social media you just never know…..they say many people over estimate the happiness a person mentions and underestimate a person's sadness.
Sounds like you offered her lots of support through the connection that you had. You never know a comment or a tweet could have made a bad day a little better, and you can take comfort in that. xo
Thanks – it was so heartbreaking to hear.
Lisa, I'm just reading this now and coming to realize who you're talking about. What a tragic end to an unhappy story.
I'm planning to attend the fundraiser/buffet. Perhaps other members of the Twitter community could do the same, support our friend's children, and discuss, face-to-face, what we can do to help with awareness, prevention and recovery.
Yes, definately, I do plan on going. Anything to help those kids.
Im so sorry. That is so sad and should not have happened.
mom2kmjx2 recently posted..Geocaching
That is so awful. I’m glad that you were able to know her, however briefly and even though you weren’t super close. It sounds like she was an amazing woman, and I am so sorry to hear about what happened with her and her children. I’m glad that there are benefits and people like you helping kids in those situations. Very inspiring.
Hi Joanne, yes it was a horrible thing to happen. I missed the last event but will keep an eye for the next on their website http://lilyandjake.org/
Wow! You can never know what someone is going through! I pray for her precious children. Thanks for sharing – you never know who you might be helping, just in doing so.
Congrats on your SITS Day!
Elena recently posted..12 Popular Green Myths Debunked
Thank you Elena.
How horrible. I can’t imagine all the things hidden behind the lines on blogs and facebook posts. Stoppping by from sits.
lacey recently posted..Normal is for the birds
Yes Lacey, unbelievable. Thanks for stopping by from Sits.
That is the part of meeting people online that is scary…we never know what each person is truly going through. How sad. Stopping by from SITS.
Whitney recently posted..Comment on Are You Worth The Price? by miss donna
Yes Whitney so true. Thanks for stopping by from Sits.
How sad! It’s so hard to know how to read between the lines in a case like this. While you may be able to tell that a particular cause is important to someone, it’s not necessarily easy to figure out why it’s important to them. I’m so sorry.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Date Night?
Thanks at Tragic Sandwich, very hard to read between the lines though her blog did have some hidden messages.
What a tragedy. I don’t think you can fully understand what anyone is going through, especially online, unless they wanted to let you in on their story.
Andrea recently posted..Solar Week: Design Your Own Solar Print Art
Hi Andrea, yes, it was awful. Reminds me though I have to check on the upcoming fundraisers too.
This is terrible! My sister once taught school with a women whose husband murdered her later. She did not know the woman was in such a situation either. The only sure way to get help is to tell someone and I hope we can inspire women to do that, especially if they have children stuck in that situation.
Lisa, I am so happy to see that it is your SITS day! Live it up!
Joanne recently posted..Bonding with Daddy
Hi Joanne, that is awful. I guess people hide those things most of the time. Thanks for coming by today.
Oh my! Stay safe everyone! I hope this teaches all tweeps a bit of a lesson: to cherish & treasure even the simplest of all friendships…
Cham Cuartero recently posted..One Little Chickie Step At A Time
Thanks Cham.
That’s awful!! I’m sorry that happened to your friend.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. What a horrible thing.
I think all we can do through the internet or in person is to be a safe place. We can be a safe person by sending value and fostering trust. You can’t force someone to divulge info they aren’t ready to give. You also can’t spend all of your time examining each person for these signs.
I don’t think I would know if an online friend were in trouble unless she wanted me to on some level. Maybe she would hint. From your description, I don’t think there was enough there for you to know.
Please be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. I believe you would have helped if you had known. That’s all you can do.
Best wishes for your healing.
misssrobin recently posted..Why Doesn’t the World Stop?
This is really sad. All I can offer is my prayers.
Thank you Jen.
How incredibly sad!
Cheryl recently posted..Shapes Scavenger Hunt
Chery, yes, it was just awful.
That’s shocking and heartbreaking. It must have left you reeling. I’m visiting from SITS
Jester Queen recently posted..Notes from the road: Under Boston
Yes, Jester Queen – very taken aback. And wishes they was something I could have done.
Lisa, I’m so sorry to hear about Stacie! My heart goes out to her kids. How terrible! I”m glad that you were able to strike up a friendship with her and be a blessing to her in your interactions.
Alison recently posted..Sunday, January 27, 2013
Thanks Alison. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I’ve been trying to find out if there are any more fundraisers for the children. All I see is the fire department collection.
(dofollow)
Lisa recently posted..Online Contests – Which Contests Work Best?
This is really sad. We often think of other cultures being the main abusers of women. But 3 women a day dying at the hands of a “loved one” is horrible.
Chasing Joy recently posted..Most Joyful Things Blogaversary Giveaway
It sure was Arlett. I can’t believe it’s been a year already
(dofollow)
Lisa recently posted..How Do Blog Comments Help Your Blog’s SEO?